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24-Hour Crisis Line
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The single greatest factor is fear ~ fear of being hunted down and injured or killed, fear of greater emotional damage to the children or of losing custody of them, fear of poverty, deportation, rejection by friends and family, fear of the courts and the legal process, fear of the unknown.
Other reasons include: economic dependence, denial, cultural, religious or family pressure, shame and embarrassment, the desire to help one's batterer, hope that things will get better, isolation, having nowhere else to go, an overall loss of one's self-worth.
In abusive relationships, a pattern of behavior develops between the abuser and the victim. This behavior repeats, gradually escalating in intensity. It is a cycle with 3 phases:
Batterers need to control, to have power over their partners. They rarely accept responsibility for their negative behavior. Instead, they blame their partners, stress, alcohol, drugs, anger, a loss of control, an unhappy childhood, and someone or something else. Abuser are bullies who choose not to control their harmful behavior.
Children who witness domestic violence are 1500 times more likely to be abused themselves as those in non-abusive homes. The psychological difficulties they experience include eating disorders, chronic insomnia, substance abuse, severe anxiety, hyper-vigilance, difficulty developing trust and self-confidence and fear of abandonment. At an early age, they often develop patterns of conduct that mimic the behavior of their parents and carry the lessons they learn into adulthood. Therapists at the Support network provide counseling and ongoing age-appropriate activities for these young survivors.
Victims of domestic violence are frightened, confused, have lost perspective about and cannot deal with their situation.
While you may beg, demand and give sound reasons for leaving the abuser, you are talking to someone who no longer has control over her/his life. The following may help, however. The victim below is referred to as female, since 80-90% of abuse victims are female:
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